Fair warning before you start to read this. This is part of
my testimony, it is somewhat graphic, and is extremely intense. I am only
telling you these things in hopes to reach out to others, and also for others
to reach out to me. Like Brethren should do.
I am a new Christian. I just
started going to church of April 2011, and I know that I have changed a lot. I
think people can see it, but I have so much work to do. The relationship I was recently
in took me on an emotional roller coaster ride. I thought a lot of things, but
I never said in fear of being rejected and cast aside. But in a relationship
your significant other should serve as one of your best friends. And best
friends shouldn’t be afraid of letting their voice heard. I made mistakes when
I was a teen. I did things that teens shouldn’t do. I lost my virginity at the
age of 16. I partied when I 20, and was a victim of rape. Some of these events
caused me to shelter myself, I felt forced into a depression. I got all the way
up to 290 lbs. I was not happy, or healthy, and I often contemplated suicide.
In January of 2011 I was in a car accident, and I should have died. Um, long
story short, I had someone whisper to me and tell me to make a split decision
while driving the car, I followed what He said and I made it out of the car
accident with only a bruise from my seat belt, scars, and memories. The car was
totaled. After the accident I was extremely shook up. I didn’t understand why I
was alive. I didn’t understand why my life was so important. This was also when
my boss took on a huge role in my life. Things started happing inside my heart
that at the time I couldn’t quite understand. I started to feel a sense of purpose.
I made it through the car accident and because of, I knew there was some higher
purpose for my existence.
From
experience I know a lot of people have a tendency to believe that they are
perfect because they are a Christian, but that’s not what it’s about at all. It’s
about the relationship that we share with our Lord and Savior. It’s about
talking to Him, and finding out what our purpose is, and being obedient when He
asks us to do things. And if we do not do exactly what we are suppose to do,
talk to God. Ask for guidance; ask for courage and support to do what is right.
And also for strength to walk away from what is evil, and what is weighing you
down. Jesus Died for our sins. That means that He knows we will sin, He knows that
we are not perfect. All we can do is our best. Surround yourselves with like
minded people, and support others like you would your family. Essentially that
is what we are. I also want to mention that when you get to a point that you
don’t know what to do or where to go, contact me. Get a hold of me, and I will
try my best to help you, and to pray with you. I do not know all of the
answers, I never will, but my ears are open.
